he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
