Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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