I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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