you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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