This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
