Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
