I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I love you. Go after that dick
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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