$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
