I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
