nutella sex= disaster
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
