What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
