Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
