it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize