THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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