Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
