Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
