I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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