Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
