Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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