We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
