some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
