This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
