Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I need moral support for this bender
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
