You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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