xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
smell my finger.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
