He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
