also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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