i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
