Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
