physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
