If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We got so high we made milksteak
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
