You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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