ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
