kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
