Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
