I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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