I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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