actually, I'm a sock model
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
