Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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