then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
