apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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