Sry I called you an 8
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize