i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
