I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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