If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
