Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
