Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
