the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
