The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
