Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
