Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
