Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
