can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
