I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
