you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
