Sry I called you an 8
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
