Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
