...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
