What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
