I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize