I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
