one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
